QUIET: THE POWER OF INTROVERTS IN A WORLD THAT CAN'T STOP TALKING BY SUSAN CAIN
BOOK REVIEWS BY BINOD
BINOD’S RATING: 7/10Reflective, cerebral, bookish, unassuming, sensitive, thoughtful, serious, contemplative, subtle, introspective, inner-directed, gentle, calm, modest, solitude-seeking, shy, risk-averse, [and] thick-skinned.
That’s Cain’s definition of an introvert.
The book is primarily written for introverts – to empower them to be themselves, to help them learn about themselves, and to teach them how introversion can be used positively in many situations. It’s a type that I can easily relate to as I’ve seen hundreds of introverts at work and in my CFA classes.
Quiet is divided into four parts.
Part One, “The Extrovert Ideal,” focuses on the concept that the author defines as “the omni-present belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight.” Cain gives examples of how organisations, such as Harvard Business School, seemingly try to turn introverts into extroverts by equating such characteristics as speaking up in class with performance.
Part Two is entitled “Your Biology, Your Self?” and in this section, the author discusses the connection between temperament and personality, and studies that have examined the influences of innate, inborn temperament on personality type.
Part 3, “Do All Cultures Have an Extrovert Ideal?” examines the idea that the Extrovert Ideal is an American standard that is not typical in other cultures.
Part 4, “How to Love, How to Work,” discusses the idea that we shift our personality traits based on the situation that we find ourselves in.
The key ideas
The world excessively and misguidedly respects extroverts. We make them our bosses and our political leaders. We foolishly admire their self-help books, such as How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Before the industrial revolution, American self-help books extolled character. Nowadays it's personality. We introverts attempt to emulate extroverts, and the stress of not being "true to ourselves" can make us physically and mentally ill.
We think extroverts are great because they're charismatic and chatty and self-assured, but in fact they're comparatively narcissistic and unthoughtful and we're committing a grave error structuring our society around them.
Almost one third to half of the population on earth are introverts. Today’s society commends extroverts more than introverts, and we could say that the world we live in is an Extrovert Ideal world. The loudest, most socially confident and quickest on their feet win the day, whereas the contemplative and quietly well-informed tend not to get a word in.
Usually introverted people are highly sensitive people who get absorbed, disturbed or influenced by the seemingly normal situation for an extrovert due to wirings of their brains. There was a fascinating study where they tested a bunch of babies and showed some stimulatory objects and noted their reactivity. Twenty years later, they studied the now-grown adults. Shockingly, highly reactive babies turned out to be the introverts, while calm babies turned out to be extroverts.
Fear of public speaking exists in all human beings due to our ancestor’s fight or flight response in our brains. In our ancestor’s times, being closely watched meant you are food, and it is a highly dangerous situation. So even now, we feel the consequence of this response. However, as you can predict, introverts suffer from this even more and need to work extra hard to ace public speaking.
Introverts aren’t always shy or even antisocial. Shyness comes not from introversion, but from a fear of negative social judgment. So, you can be introverted and not shy at all.
The criticism is not of extroverts, but rather the extrovert ideal and how it is unwise to value one personality type over another.
The free trait theory
But introverts can be extroverts too, if only in specific situations.
Introverts need alone time called “restorative niche.” Without it, an introvert will drain themselves. Professor Brian Little came up with Free Trait Theory.
The theory says that every individual has a fixed and free trait. The fixed character can be that you are an introvert, but free trait theory suggests that you can choose to be an extrovert when it is according to your “Core Personal Project.”
As for the Professor, being the best professor he can be is one of his life’s “Core Personal Projects.”
Where introverts score
Introverts tend to think more deeply about problems and persist for longer in trying to solve them
They may have stronger conscience due to their sensitivity.
Introverts thrive in situations that rely on the input of a team because they are more likely to listen to the other members and implement their ideas.
Introverts are supposedly more likely to care about the feelings of others
“There's zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.”
Where extroverts score
Extroverts tackle assignments quickly.
They are good at multitasking; they can see “What is” better than introverts.
They are okay with information overload. They can manage many things at the same time.
Research studies throughout time have consistently reaffirmed the belief that extroverts are more likely to emerge as leaders, and are more likely to be perceived as effective (Grant et al., 2011)
Extroverts often lead businesses better when there is little input from other team members
What I liked
Its well written and reads easily, so much so that you won’t realize how fast you cover the pages. That’s because Cain not only describes behavior patterns well, but also backs up her observations with personal experiences, psychological research, insightful observations, and reasonable advice to parents, bosses, and spouses.
The caution to parents against forcing children into activities and behavior patterns inconsistent with their personal histories, suggesting instead that parents take into account their child’s “baseline” level when approaching these new activities.
Great read for introverted individuals aspiring to become leaders, and for organizations seeking knowledge on how to provide a conducive environment in which introverted leaders can be successful.
It's a career and work focused book, with a surprisingly frequent focus on what traits introverts are more likely to have and how these should be recognized at the top tables in all fields.
I follow leadership theory and practice closely and I liked the part where Cain talks a bit about the "Situational" theory of personality. People's personalities can be completely different in different situations, times and around different people. Therefore, there are very few "pure" introverts or "pure" extroverts.
The book made me reflect; I thought quite a bit about how I do or don’t fit into the picture Cain paints of introverts. I am still not sure whether I am an introvert or extrovert!
The book also addresses introvert-extrovert relationships, which makes the book valuable for those extroverts who have close relationships with introverts, including significant others, parents, children, and close friends.
“Everyone shines, given the right lighting.”
What I didn’t like
The biggest sin that Cain commits is the sin of dangerous oversimplification. Through the lens of personality science, it’s difficult to see how many of her descriptions of an Introvert ( see start of this review) relate to the respected, tested and widely used Big 5 personality traits framework. In addition to introversion (unassuming, calm, solitude-seeking, shy), her definition has traces of conscientiousness (concentration, deliberation), agreeableness (modest, gentle, disliking conflict) and openness to experience (reflective, cerebral, bookish, thoughtful, serious, contemplative, introspective). This is because the popular conception of introversion is really a blend of several distinct personality traits.
Occasionally it feels like an intellectualised comfort read for introverted professionals and proving, endlessly, how awesome introverts are and why the professional world should value them and stop trying to tell them that they have to be like extroverts.
The book also helps to minimise the downsides of being introverted. A case in point is the evidence that extraverts are generally happier than introverts, which holds up in many cultures.
Cain states that long, loud brainstorming sessions are a justification for greater introversion. I dislike mad loud sessions of brainstorming but I am a big fan of purposeful collaboration and focused creativity. And there is a massive danger of throwing out the baby with the bath water here! Poor meetings tend to be managed by poorly organised people. It is not the process – it is the management. It is like saying ‘that that CFA topic was awful – just proves Finance is rubbish”
What about ambiverts, people who are half introvert and half extrovert? There is no mention of them in the book. I suspect there are a lot of ambiverts out there.
Conclusion
The reality is that the world needs both introverts and extroverts to survive.
Cain urges readers to be true to their self, and to put themselves in situations that play well with their personality, rather than forcing uncomfortable situations. And she advises managers should to “make the most of introverts' strengths—these are the people who can help you think deeply, strategize, solve complex problems, and spot canaries in your coal mine.”
This book offers new insights and will serve as a valuable source of information for management professionals.