Messengers: Who We Listen To, Who We Don't, and Why by J. Marks and Martin Stephen
BOOK REVIEWS BY BINOD
BINOD’S RATING: 7/10Why are self-confident idiots so often believed? Why are thoughtful experts so often given the cold shoulder? And why do apparently irrelevant details such as a person’s height, what they wear, their relative wealth, or their Facebook photo influence whether or not we trust what they are saying?.
The recent rise of populist politicians and social media celebrities has left many of us pondering those questions.
Reality
We live in a world where proven facts, verifiable data, and truths are often ignored — especially when delivered by a messenger who isn’t well-known, charismatic, rich, dominant or likeable.
Forget about honing only your message. It turns out that the messenger is much more important than the message!
Stephen Martin and Joseph Marks compellingly explain how in our uncertain and ambiguous world, we frequently fail to separate the idea being communicated from the person conveying it, explaining why the status or connectedness of the messenger has become more important than the message itself.
“Martin and Marks reveal the forces behind the most infuriating phenomena of our modern era, such as belief in fake news and how presidents can hawk misinformation and flagrant lies yet remain”
Key points
They walk us through the many ways in which we are influenced by messengers - based on a multitude of factors. With specific examples and data points, the authors break down for us how we are susceptible to the messages conveyed by artful messengers regardless of what’s fact or fiction.
People tend to listen to those who have a mix of hard and soft powers:
Hard powers
Socioeconomic status
Looking wealthy. Monroe Lefkowitz’s classic jaywalking experiment tested pedestrians’ willingness to follow a man jaywalking across the road against a red light. What he found was that three times as many were happy to follow the man when he wore a suit compared to when he wore all denim.
Perceived Competence
Having a mature, less round than average face (high cheekbones, angular jaw) makes you look more competent.
Dominance
Dominance can make you more persuasive particularly competitive, assertive, even aggressive behavior focusing on self-interest rather than empathy. Examples are a low pitched voice or using expansive postures, making open gestures and being happy with taking lots of space. Hence why lecturers who make more arm movements whilst speaking are perceived as better teachers by their students.
Attractive
Even 2-month babies reward attractive faces. Average youthful symmetric faces signal good genes and EVEN JURORS favor attractive criminals. Red colors are rewarded for women (lipstick etc.).
Connection
With their audience . We need to see that the messenger is on our side and this is tribal for us. Successful salespeople do this a lot. E.g in Zimbabwe, women who made a living by braiding hair were more successful at delivering messages about condom usage than qualified and experienced doctors.
“We now live with “influencers” who encourage us to buy or watch etc without us knowing who they really are”
Soft powers
Warmth
Warm people show others respect, friendliness, and benevolence. This is ingrained in us from a young age. Being warm can even save lives- in the US, truck drivers who were given warm and cheery send-offs as they start off were involved in fewer accidents.
Vulnerable
Happily embracing our vulnerabilities shows us to be more human to the audience.
Trust
From relations to economics, trust is an essential ingredient of life. For building trust, consistency is the key but you also need to be reachable/open. When we have positive, repeated, and consistent interactions with someone, we start to infer trustworthiness in them. Sadly, we humans are terrible at judging when we can take stuff on trust and when we should be more sceptical.
Should we use hard or soft powers?
It’s complex and it depends. In emergencies and crises, hard power leaders are preferred. In peace time, soft power leaders are preferred and that is why Churchill lost the election after the war. An effective leader will alternate his approach depending on the situation and that is of course not easy to achieve.
What I liked
Undeniably well researched and the topic is very interesting
The book quotes lots of psychological experiments, some by the authors and some from other sources. The research studies are well footnoted and you can follow them all up.
It’s an analysis that clearly explains the weird appeal ( and success) of Donald Trump. He is a classic alpha male – bombastic, dominant, and pugilistic. Some of this, according to the book, is innate. He was born with a face shape that is associated with dominance. Some of it may have been learned over his lifetime: the way he stands, the amount he gestures with his arms, the deep timbre of his voice etc.
This is a fascinating book especially for anyone who needs to do public speaking. It's a book which is invaluable to anyone who needs to communicate effectively, whether that be a leader, social media influencer or even a writer.
Messengers is useful in that it's designed to help consumers and citizens understand when they're being manipulated and take steps to resist.
Almost everyone has had the experience of not being taken seriously -- even when their message was serious, founded on fact and relevant to the audience. You can get frustrated, or you can read Messengers.
Martin and Marks have a terrific talent for combining evidence and research with lively and vivid writing
Conclusion
Recognising the traits of society’s messengers is crucial because they fundamentally influence not just who we listen to and what we believe, but also who we become.
Above all, Martin and Marks show how looking and sounding right is often far more persuasive than actually being right.
Should be one of those books that everybody reads.