The Power Paradox by Dacher Keltner
BOOK REVIEWS BY BINOD
BINOD’S RATING: 7/10
Top 15 points:
1. Power dynamics are EVERYWHERE, even between parents and kids & among siblings. Eg An older sibling will often be stronger and smarter, with more education; in short, they have power over their younger sibling. It also makes them more traditional & conservative in outlook. Younger siblings lack this experience of power & will become more cooperative and innovative as adults.
2. Power is defined as one’s capacity to alter another person’s condition or state of mind
3. When people resort to trying to control others, it’s often a sign that their power is slipping.
4. It is not the manipulative Machiavellian who rises in power. One’s ability to get/keep power depends on one’s ability to advance the goals of other group members. We give power to those who can best serve the interests of the group. Power is given not grabbed.
5. Enduring power comes from a focus on others. Good storytelling makes for enduring power. Those who tell captivating stories engage the interest of others, which tightens the social bond between them and their listeners, thus reducing the overall stress of the social group.
6. Often status and power go together, but they are separable. It is possible to have power without status and vice versa.
7. Social penalties like gossip, shaming, and ostracism are painful and they are powerful social practices by which group members elevate the standing of those who advance the greater good and prevent those less committed to it from gaining power.
8. But tragically power encourages individuals to act on their own whims, desires, and impulses. Power leads to people seeing themselves as exceptional.
9. High-power individuals are more likely to be less empathetic, interrupt others, to speak out of turn, to have affairs, fail to look at others who are speaking & tease friends and colleagues in hostile, humiliating fashion.
10.CEOs with MBAs are more likely than those without MBAs to engage in self-serving behavior that increases their personal compensation but causes their companies’ value to decline.
11. The abuse of power ultimately tarnishes the reputations of executives, undermining their opportunities for influence. It creates stress and anxiety among their colleagues, diminishing rigor and creativity in the group and dragging down team members’ engagement & performance.
12. Powerlessness is extremely stressful and hence why the powerless ( juniors, low paid staff, minorities etc) often lead sicker, sadder, shorter, poorer, nastier lives. They are also more empathetic and trusting.
13. The power paradox is that you get powerful by thinking of others, and then start being really selfish.
14. Keltner’s 5 solutions for the Paradox: Be aware of your feelings of power, practice humility (don’t be impressed by your own work & stay critical of it), stay focused on others, practice respect (ask questions, listen with intent, be curious about others, acknowledge others, compliment and praise vigorously, express gratitude) & change the context of powerlessness
15. The sole basis for optimism is Keltner’s conclusion that serving the common good is, ultimately, in the self-interest of the powerful, if they can only resist the temptation to turn into jerks instead.